


Maybe we still can find happiness|| Destiel One-shot

by drama_qveen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is Loved (Supernatural), Castiel is Saved from the Empty (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester One Shot, Cute Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Needs to Use Actual Words, Dean Winchester is Loved, Fluff, Human Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Team Free Will (Supernatural)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27727850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drama_qveen/pseuds/drama_qveen
Summary: Hold me in your armsEven if I'm fragilelike a dream- Alexandra Vasiliu
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Maybe we still can find happiness|| Destiel One-shot

For the long time, the only thing Cas could see was endless darkness surrounding him from everywhere. Cold, cruel, black void, stripped of any life, sounds or feelings. Unbreakable, dead silence echoing in his ears. The Empty. He was awake here, just like the first time, suffering the loneliness and desperate need to feel something. He didn’t even know how long he was there. Hours? Days? Months? Or maybe even years? Time didn’t matter here at all.

He was wandering around like a lost soul, heaven knows for how long, trying to remember his life on Earth. Memories of places, people, his _feelings_. But he had to admit that the more time he spent here the harder it was. The sound of steps echoing in the bunker’s corridors. The smell of leather on the backseat of the impala. It all was lost somewhere in his mind. Faces were blurred, like they were behind the mist. The soft smile of Jack. The serious sound of Sam’s voice. And… Dean. He missed him so much. His beautiful green eyes, gorgeous light freckles on his cheeks and nose, which Cas always found adorable. His husky and somehow very pleasing voice. It all was so distant now. But he never, even for once, regretted what he did – because he knew why and for who he did that.

Castiel tried to come back to sleep, just as he should. Simply give up. There was no way to get out of here. But there was something that was keeping him awake, something that couldn’t let him give up. In theory, nothing could get inside here from the outside world. But this time… there was _something_ … indistinct, strange tearing through the void and silence, that wasn’t letting him to give it all up. He couldn’t tell what it was but he could _feel_ it.

Time was passing and Castiel couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted to give up the fighting. Just… sleep in peace for eternity. _Maybe it would be better?_ , he kept saying to himself, trying to convince himself, _why can’t I just let go…?_ He was crying in the dark, afraid he’s starting losing his mind here. But then something happened. He was nearly certain that he saw something, a faint blink of a light. He know it was impossible, he kept saying that to not to give himself any hope. He must’ve just gone insane after the whole time he spent here.

But then… Then it happened again. He felt the light on his face, a familiar, comforting heat… and then unexpected sting of pain started slowly spreading over his whole body. He didn’t know what it was but he felt some strange presence of something what definitely shouldn’t be here. The pain was burning under every inch of his skin. Maybe it was the Shadow, who finally came to get rid of him once and for good? He closed his eyes and felt like he was falling even deeper into the darkness. And maybe that’s how it all ends? He just sleeps again… _Just sleeps…_

*******

Castiel really thought it was the end – the real end – but it was something completely different. When he woke up, he was laying on the ground, still feeling that burning pain in his chest and head. He tried to open his eyes, but it was too bright… Wait..? Bright? How is that even possible? He groaned quietly and tried to get up.

“You alright, man?”, from above he heard a nasal voice, which he probably heard for the first time – or he just couldn’t remember? Cas opened his eyes and got up from the ground very fast, which he regretted very soon after, because he immediately felt dizzy and almost fell to his knees again. “Woah, easy.” The stranger said. “Do you know what happened or where you are?”

Castiel looked around and shook his head. It was a middle of a day, many people walking around. He had no idea where he was or even why he was here. Who brought him back? Chuck? Impossible, must’ve been somebody else. Winchesters? No, they couldn’t do something like that, no matter how determined or stubborn they were. It was beyond their strength… So who?

“I found you lying here, thought you were drunk” the man chuckled awkwardly but then probably realized that it might be inappropriate or seem rude and continued in more serious voice. “You weren’t, so, I don’t know maybe something happened?” he looked at him a little confused, waiting for an answer.

Castiel looked up to him, still feeling dizzy. He was shaking, could barely stand on his own feet. What’s more surprising, he was cold and hungry and tired… he never felt like that, never, unless…No, that was impossible. He couldn’t just be… human, right? “Where…” he tried to speak but his voice was hoarse like he had a sore throat. He coughed and tried again, “…where are we?”, he said quietly.

The man blinked in surprise. “…You don’t know where you are?”, he asked but Castiel once again shook his head. “We’re in Lebanon, Kansas… Oh, man, you must’ve hit your head or something… How about I get you to the doctor?”

“No…” Castiel said weakly and started looking for something in the pockets of his trenchcoat. It took him a moment but he finally found his phone. The man looked like he wanted to ask again, but Cas just nodded his head, “Thank you but… I should be fine, you can go.”, he thanked him and then added “I need to call someone”. The man just shrugged his arms and just left, maybe slightly concerned but what else he should do?

Castiel checked his phone. He sighed in relief when he saw it’s still working. He looked at the date. Impossible, he was gone for a couple of days? It seemed for him like eternity. He didn’t even has to think twice about what he should do. He smiled slightly looking for a number in his contacts and then called it. He waited a few seconds, literally holding his breath, looking forward to hearing that familiar voice again… but no one answered, only voicemail could be heard. _This is Dean's other-other cell, so. You must know what to do._

He looked at the phone slightly confused. Maybe Dean left it somewhere? He tried to call him again. He bit his lips nervously as he waited. This time, Dean picked up the phone. “Dean?” Cas said with a brief of relief but the only thing which answered him was complete silence. "Dean, it's me. I need your help here, I don't know how to explain this but..."

He tried to speak but he was cut by Dean's tired and angry voice, "Whoever you are, I’m damn sure you’re not Cas, because Cas is gone, for good, so I don't have a time for your bullshit.”

Cas opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something but he didn’t know what. Did his friend not recognize him? “Dean… it’s me. I’m really here.”

“Yeah, and I’m Freddie Mercury.”, he mocked, “No, that’s impossible, because Cas is dead! And nothing will bring him back to me this time.” Dean raised his voice, although it was clearly breaking. Castiel could almost hear how hurt the hunter was.

There was a long and somehow heavy moment of silence, when only sound he could hear was his own heartbeat, pounding in his chest faster. After this few seconds, which seemed like forever, Dean finally hung up the call. People were passing Cas by while he was staring at his phone for some time, like he needed time to process what he just heard.

Dean _really_ didn’t want to believe him… but it didn’t matter. He needed to, _had to_ come back to him, just like every other time.

***

Dean took few deep breaths. _Calm down, man_ , he thought to himself, _it has to be another goddamn sick trick. I’m not falling for this one._ He put his phone away, when he heard Sam walking into the library.

“You were talking with someone?” his brother rather stated than asked. Sam was concerned about Dean since Cas died. Well, they never really talked about it but he knew Dean wasn’t the type of person who shares about his problems… “I heard you, who was that?”

Dean gulped, without even a single look at his brother. “It was nothing, wrong number or some other crap…” he said rolling his eyes, “Just… pass me another beer and don’t talk about it, alright?”.

“No, it’s _not_ okay, Dean.” The younger Winchester said with a mix of concern and anger in his voice. “You’ve been like this since…” he hesitated, a moment of sudden silence hung between them.

“Since what? Since Cas is gone?”, Dean finally turned his gaze on his younger brother, “well, guess what…” he scoffed and showed Sam his last calls on his phone. On the top of the list was _Cas._ Dean’s smile was sad and wry. Sam looked at him with surprised expression but before he could say anything, Dean explained “It was just goddamned joke, it had to be, but… come on, just imagine someone called you from Eileen’s phone while she was gone”.

Sam opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but voice stuck in his throat. “Dean… you know it’s not really the same.”, he tried to say it calmly but only thinking about something like that was painful, left

“Yes, of course it is different!” he shouted again and slammed his hand against the table, “Because she came back. And you can to tell her everything you couldn’t say before. I can’t. And…” He hesitated, trying to find proper words, and after a moment he added, almost whispering “There are a lot of things I wish I had said.”

Dean took a deep breath. He looked at his brother like he wanted to ask him if he had anything to add but the younger Winchester just shook his head. He knew how much it hurts, lose someone so close. Yes, Cas was also his friend but… it was different for Dean. Dean was there when Castiel died… he watched as the Empty took his best friend away from him. And he felt guilty for that.

He was drinking, more than ever before. When he was actually sober, he was looking for a way to bring Castiel back. He spent a lot of time in the library, searching for an answer, but he couldn’t find even a single word about ‘Empty’ or anything like this. And… he prayed. He prayed almost every night, with a last bit of hope that maybe it would change something – that maybe it would somehow bring Castiel back to him… but days were passing and his hope was slowly fading.

There was also that one thing that Dean was still hiding from Sam…. He never told Sam about what Cas confessed before he died. He didn’t even know how. But there wasn’t even a single day when Dean didn't think about Cas' last words. _I love you_ still was ringing in his head and heart. And now Cas was gone and he couldn’t say all the things that he wished he said to him.

And if he got a chance to say, he would say it back. _Without hesitation_. But it was too late...

There were nothing left to say, so Dean just stood up, and left the library, leaving his brother with his thoughts in complete silence. He needed some time alone.

***

Some time has passed and Dean finally came back from his room. Not like he felt better, he just cooled down a little and wanted to go to the kitchen and grab another beer, but when he entered the room Sam was still there. He stopped and looked at his brother.

“Okay” he started as he sat next to Sam and rested his hands on the table “You just wanna help, presh it, really”

“It’s alright” Sam nodded his head and looked at Dean. He knew how his brother was, he always got angry easily and it was never easy for him to apologize or talk about it, even if he regrated that.

“It doesn’t mean I’m gonna talk about it now”, he snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Yes… ” he chuckled and then added, “But, I don’t know, maybe a little sharing wouldn’t hurt, would it?’ Sam teased and smiled proudly.

“The hell not” Dean he rolled his eyes again and scoffed “Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam put his hand on his brother’s shoulder as they both laughed but it wasn’t like the old times. Somehow hollow, blank. Maybe it’s because after all of they went through something was missing – or maybe just because none of them were really happy.

Dean stood up. He was going to finally head to the kitchen, but suddenly both brothers heard a loud sound in the distance. Someone got to the bunker. They looked at each other with confusion and immediately ran to the war room, ready for any confrontation. Dean grabbed a gun on the way, just in case. Both brothers ran into the room and… stopped, taken-aback by who they just saw.

_Castiel was standing right next to the door._

Sam was just stunned, he couldn’t even say anything. For a moment he thought it was just a delusions or a trick… Like someone was playing with his mind. He couldn’t believe his own eyes.

Dean’s reaction was completely opposite. After first moment of shock and maybe even fear, he dropped the gun and run up the stairs as fast as he could. He was skipping two-three steps at the time and finally stood before him. He was looking at him like he was trying to figure out if it’s not just another dream and he’s gonna wake up in a few seconds. 

Cas was breathing heavily, looking into those green eyes he missed so much. Maybe he was tired, thirsty and hungry, but he smiled softly and said with a relief “Hello Dean”. He was so happy he could see him, but also, somewhere deep inside, he was afraid of his reaction.

The older Winchester couldn’t believe Cas really was there. He has already lost hope he will see him ever again. “Cas?” he whispered, but his voice was already breaking. He was holding back tears which wasn’t very helpful, because his eyes were already full of them. His voice was stuck in his throat, so he just put his hand on Cas' shoulder and pulled him close in a warm, longing hug. He was holding him, like he wasn’t going to let him go ever again, listening to his breath with clutched his hand onto the trench coat. “I… I missed you so much, Cas” he breathed, still cuddled up into Castiel’s chest.

“I’ve missed you too” Castiel said, holding him tight. He wanted this moment to last forever. He was happier than ever before. He finally came back to Dean, he was so grateful that he could be here with him. Dean was really his happiness. He never needed anything more.

“But…”, the hunter swallowed back tears and finally stepped back a little, still holding his hand on Cas’ shoulder, “you’re still an idiot.”, he chuckled and then added more seriously, “Never do that again to me.”

“I’m not going to, I promise”, Castiel laughed too, with a gentle smile on his face. How Dean missed that… There were no words he could express that. 

When they finally let go, Sam was already standing next to them with amused smile on his face which certainly was saying that he know, _sees_ , something they both can’t see. “Welcome back, Cas” he chuckled a little. _Yeah… They definitely need some time together later,_ he thought to himself.

Dean was still looking at Cas, like he needed time to process that it’s all real. That he’s real and he’s really standing right before him. He was smiling brighter, wider than ever before. Well… as he once said, he got his _‘big win’._

“How did you come back?” Sam finally snapped the silence and asked. “We were looking for a since you were gone and… we found nothing.”

“I have no idea” Castiel finally looked away from Dean. He bit his lips, but couldn’t even come up with anything, “At first I thought it was you… but then…”

“Shit, Cas, I’m so sorry…” Dean cut him off, when he remembered what he said just some time ago, when he called him “I should have known it was you”

“Dean, it’s alright, don’t blame yourself” he smiled warmly and nodded his head. Dean tried to smile back but it was a little forced this time, he wasn’t so sure if that’s really ‘alright’ – for him it definitely wasn’t, he should have known.

“Maybe it was Jack?” Sam asked. Castiel looked at him with surprised expression but before he could ask, the younger Winchester explained “Um.. when you were gone, we had to fight Chuck and… things generally went really, really bad but… long story short, Jack somehow absorbed his powers and, he’s literally new god.”

Cas blinked in surprise. He looked on Dean, then Sam, like he was waiting for them to burst out laughing and tell him it’s a joke. “I… can’t believe that. ” He shook his head. “So… you won?”

“No, Cas” Dean corrected him and smiled widely “We won.”

They all looked at each other. Cas smiled and nodded his head slowly, but then his expression changed in a brief moment. He frowned his eyebrows and looked away from both brothers. He cleared his throat.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dean asked with a little concerned voice.

“There’s one thing I haven’t told you yet.” He looked at them and bit his lips. He took a deep breath and said quietly “I’m human now… Perhaps it was a condition to get me out of the Empty.”

The brothers both were silent for a moment but then Dean suddenly laughed. “Come on, Cas!”, he said and put his hand on Cas’ shoulder again, “I thought it was something worse! Man, I don’t really care if you’re an angel or human – or a unicorn or whatever – as long as you’re here.” He chuckled as the smile slowly returned on his friend’s face.

“I appreciate it, Dean” he answered in more convinced voice.

“Alright, alright… let’s go, you-“, the hunter pointed at Castiel, “-you need to take care of yourself, you’re human now. I’ll make us something to eat. And you-“, he looked at his brother, “-I think we still have some beers left in the kitchen, so bring it on, we’re going to celebrate.”

***

Castiel finally came out of his room. He had that Led Zeppelin T-shirt on, which Dean borrowed him – he told him that it would nice on him. He headed to the kitchen, where both brothers were already waiting for him. He entered the room just when everything was ready.

Dean finished making burgers – and yes, he was so proud of them. Sam just came back with a pack of beer. Cas smiled to them as he sat by the table. Dean turned around. He put the food on the table and sat on the other side.

“So, we’re finally here together and everything is as it should be.” He declaimed excessively, almost theatrically. He lifted the beer, like he was going to make a toast and continued, “And as I said, we’re going to celebrate, ‘cause it’s pretty damn good reason to celebrate”, the hunter looked at the angel, the slightly hesitant smile on his face. Then he opened the bottle and grinned widely “Cheers!”

For the next hour, or maybe even longer – no one cares about the time when you are happy – they were just talking, laughing and joking together. Sam and Dean told Cas everything: how they find out the way to defeat Chuck, how Jack became a new god and… well, how they saved the world, literally.

Cas couldn’t believe in all he heard – it was probably too much for him to process all of these information at once. He wished that Jack was here with them too, but he was also proud od him… He was proud of all of them. And… they really won, so maybe it was time when they’d find some peace? Cas hoped for that. He was human now… He thought that maybe he could become a hunter and hunt with brothers, but, as a matter of fact, he wouldn’t be very helpful without his powers, at least that’s what he assumed. Or maybe he would just stay here and help them from the bunker… Yes… no matter what he wanted to stay here. Castiel looked at Dean instinctively with a smile on his face. That’s where he wanted to be.

Dean still sometimes caught himself thinking that it couldn’t be real. He simply couldn’t believe how lucky he was. They won, they were free, he got Cas back… Cas… He was giving him quick, maybe a little nervous glances from time to time – and he hoped that he didn’t see any of them. The hunter was there with them, talking and laughing, but his mind was somewhere else. Every time he looked at those blue eyes or listened to his laugh he kept thinking about how they’re free now and… that maybe it’s time to change something. Maybe it was time to finally say what he had never said… and what he should do a long time ago.

Of course, Sam was happy with them but… my goodness, how they both were blind. He caught all Dean’s uncertain glances, he saw how immediately he changed the moment he saw Cas standing in the door. He was smiling, for real, maybe first time in the last few days. Sometimes when the younger Winchester looked at his brother with his best friend he really felt like he was looking at himself with Eileen, just after she came back.

“Alright, guys?” Sam interrupted in the middle of conversation and when he got their attention, he cleared his throat, “It’s all good but I think I have to go now.”

“Wait, why?” Dean suddenly turned his gaze on his brother and frowned his eyebrows. “You good?” he asked a little surprised.

“Yea, just a little tired. But don’t mind me” he assured and smiled. He stood up and waved at them goodbye, as he left the room, leaving them in a complete silence for a moment.

Castiel looked at Dean with a little awkward smile on his face. “I probably should go too… it’s a little late.” He said a nodded his head slowly. He was just about go but Dean stopped him.

The hunter put his hand on his shoulder when he heard he want to leave. “No, wait.”, he insisted as Castiel turned around, looking at him a little confused, “There’s actually a thing I wanted to talk about.”

“Of course, Dean.” he answered, “What’s the matter?”

Dean cleared his throat and looked away. It was his moment so why he was so nervous? _God, I act like a stupid teenage girl,_ he thought to himself. He took a deep breath and said “I… wanted to talk about you and… what you’ve said before you… you know.”

Cas blinked in surprise. He bit his lips slightly. “You don’t have to say anything… I understand if you don’t feel the same, so..”

“What?” Dean asked surprised and shook his head, “That’s not what I meant, Cas.” He explained and took a deep breath, like he was getting ready for what he was about to say. “Don’t ‘you-don’t-have-to-say-it’ me again, because I really have to, okay?” he added.

He hesitated for a moment, trying to find a good words, but it was really hard for him. He’s not the type to talk about his feelings. Cas was looking at him with a an uncertain expression on his face, probably being as nervous as he was. “When you said you loved me… I lost my chance to say anything so I want to say it now.”

The hunter took Castiel’s hand maybe a little awkwardly and looked up, straight into Castiel’s eyes. He once again took a deep breath and finally let go all he wanted to say “Damn it, I should have say it all a long time ago… but I guess I was too afraid to do that. Because everyone who ever get close to me, they all sooner or later end up hurt or worse. But now we’re free and maybe it’s time when we can be finally happy… I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You’ve always been my best friend, you’re always three when I need you and you never ask for anything in return and… You always cared about me and all of us and I’ve always been that stupid son of a bitch who couldn’t show you how important you are to me. Because you are important. I’ve never been happier then with you and… the thing is… I love you too, Cas.”

He finished and the words hung between them. For a moment it all went silent. Dean bit his lips and swallowed hard the tears that were coming into his eyes. He really said that. He felt... relieved? It felt like he finally gave up the burden that was so long tightened around his heart. “I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.” He added and smiled slightly.

Castiel was speechless. He never thought he would hear those words from Dean, never even dreamt about this moment. But now the words _I love you too_ were like the echo in his head. He breathed heavily and said, almost whispered “You… really mean—?”

Before Castiel could finish the sentence, Dean took a few steps closer to him, shortening the distance between them. He put one hand on his back and pulled him even closer, sending shivers down his spine. Castiel couldn’t even process properly what was going on when Dean leaned to him and then… the whole world held its breath. Time stopped in a collision of senses.

When their lips first met, Castiel instinctively closed his eyes. It all went silent around them, like they suddenly dived into the deep and cold water, as he kissed him back, softly, as if he were still unsure of the reality of it all - like if he wasn't careful all of this it all would disappear. It felt like his heart stopped for a moment, taking his breath away as well and making his knees weak. 

Dean’s heart was pounding in his chest as he was holding Cas close to himself. The only thing he could think about was that pleasant fluttering feeling in his stomach… and this moment. Like any past or future didn’t exist. For a moment he was all tense, like it was the first time when he ever kissed someone, but when he finally relaxed, he softly smiled against his lips.

When they finally let go each other, Castiel was still stunned, but now a slight smile appeared in the corner of his mouth. His cheeks were probably glowing red, assuming by the warm he felt on his face.

Dean stepped back, but he still was holding Cas’ hand. “Yes, idiot, I really mean it” Dean said as he chuckled lightly. “I love you.”

***

They spent the rest of the night cuddled up to each other in Dean’s room, watching one of his favourite movies. Cas was leaning against his shoulder, reaching for the bowl of popcorn which they prepared before. Dean was silent, from time to time looking at Castiel with a gentle smile. It was getting late, so they both were slowly falling asleep.

“So… now it’s going to be like this?” Cas suddenly broke the silence. He tilted his head a little to look at Dean.

“Yeah, I hope so…”, Dean said after some time, nodding his head slowly, “...if you’re good with that.”

“Couldn’t be better.” Cas answered and yawned. He was really sleepy after whole day… it was a lot of emotions for one day and night.

“You know, I thought about finding a job and… maybe I will quit hunting, I mean, not completely, but I think I need a vacation.” he explained and watched as Cas slowly smiles.

“You deserve it, Dean” he said with tired voice, his eyes were closing by themselves.

“You deserve it, too and don’t you dare tell me it’s not like that. You were taking care of all this with us and now it’s your turn to have some damn peace”, he kept talking quietly, “So maybe this time we will finally go on this beach, you know, like I’ve told you before. You, me, Sam with Eileen, fancy drinks, those crappy matching shirts, toes in the sand? Wouldn’t that be great?”, he asked and chuckled a little but the only thing that responded was silence, “Hey, Cas?” he looked at him, just to see that he was already asleep. He smiled lightly and turned down the TV. “Goodnight, Cas”, he whispered as he closed his eyes.

 _Everything will be fine now,_ he thought to himself just before he felt asleep too.

_Everything will be fine._


End file.
